Once Chautala thought that he should teach english to his father . He started teaching from A for Apple B Bhains ( Buffalo) etc etc. When he came to M he said M for Mummy or 'Maa'. Proceeding further when W came Tau said ," Yaa kimi Jaani Phchani lage hai". (It seen that he has seen it some where). Then he recollected ," HAA, YAA SAI TO CHAUTALA KE MAA PER YAA ULTI KAYUN HOO RAHI SAI".( Yes, It is Chautal's mother, But why she is upside down.)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tau on The Bus
Once Tau boarded a buss. Bus was very much crowded. On looking around tau found dirvers seat vacant and quickly grabbed it. After some time the dirver came and asked Tau to vacate the seat. Tau as usual refused to part with the seat. The driver politely said, "Tau mene Bus chalani sai"( I have to drive the Buss). Tau replied," To phir mere sir pe baith ke chalawega, pechay baith ke nahi chalai jati" ( So you would dirve while sitting on my head, why don't you sit behind and drive). The driver said jokingly and politely, " Tau pechay baith ke chalayi to buss pchey jawagi" ( If I would drive from behind then it would go back). Tau answered " Hammn !!, tu mene bewkuf samaj rekhya sai, mene bera sai, bus main to ek ulta gear bhi hoya kere" (You think i am a fool, I know that there is a reverse gear also in the buss
Tau or chor
Once a thief broke in to Tau's house and successfully completed his operation. In the morning when tau wake up he went to police station for lodging an FIR.
The policeman asked : "Tau ke Bkhat Tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau :" Bhai Bkaht to mada ey tha, taien to yeh rasey ho gaye" (The time was bad, that's why this trouble happened).
The policeman :" Tau Bajya ke tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau answered:" Key batau daroga ji, ek lath to mera sir mein bajya tha or ek teri Taei ke ser mein bajya" (What should I tell inspecter ji, one stick hit on my head and one on your Taei's(Tau's wife) head).
Policeman :" Tau ye bata Ghari pey ke bajya tha"(What was the time in the clock).
Tau :" Beta, Ghari pey to ke he tikya hta aur wa tut gayi"( On stick was hit on the clock and it broke down
The policeman asked : "Tau ke Bkhat Tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau :" Bhai Bkaht to mada ey tha, taien to yeh rasey ho gaye" (The time was bad, that's why this trouble happened).
The policeman :" Tau Bajya ke tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau answered:" Key batau daroga ji, ek lath to mera sir mein bajya tha or ek teri Taei ke ser mein bajya" (What should I tell inspecter ji, one stick hit on my head and one on your Taei's(Tau's wife) head).
Policeman :" Tau ye bata Ghari pey ke bajya tha"(What was the time in the clock).
Tau :" Beta, Ghari pey to ke he tikya hta aur wa tut gayi"( On stick was hit on the clock and it broke down
Tau Sadak pe
Once a Tau was gonig on the road. A car wala blew horn from behind. Tau looked back asked the dirver," Ya sadak ke tere BAAP ki Sai ?" ( Does this road belongs to your father ?). The dirver replied in annoiance ,"HAA". Tau immediately replied ," Apne BAAP se keh de sadak thorii CHOREE karva de ga, Yoo Tau na halley".( Say your father to broaden the road as this Tau wouldn't move aside.)
Tau ne dekhi sholey
One day Tau went to see Sholey. Veru was tied up and Gabber said,"Nach Basanti Nach". Veru screamed," Nahen Basanti..., en Kutto ke samney mat Nachna".(No Basanti don't dance in front of these dogs.) Tau who was watching the movie very curiously exclaimed ," Nachegi Kyuna, Pandra rupiye nu he thora na de rakhe Saien". (Why would not she dance, I have not given fifteen rupees in vain.)
Tau ka Meheman
One day a guest came to Tau's house at night. Tau thought that he has to prepare food and serve to the guest, so what to do to aviod this at mid-night. He think upon a plan. He asked the guest,
Tau:" Ha bahi Roti to Khawega"? ( Ok then, you would take food?)
Guest: Haan Tau Roti to khani sain. (Yes Tau I would take food)
Tau: Kitni Roti kha liya kara. (How many Chapatis you can eat)
Guest: "Tau Teen". (Three)
Tau : "Tu !!! Tu teen roti khawaega, Lagda to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Three, It doesn't seems so)
The guest thought that Tau perhaps cook heavy Roti So he replied," Tau do Kha lunga"(Ok, two would do)
Tau : Tu !!! Do roti khawaega, Lagta to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Two, It doesn't seems so)
The gust again thought perhaps Tau's Roti is perhaps too heavy, so replied," Thik Tau to ek he kha lunga"(Ok, Tau I would have one).
Tau: "Rey Mirar, Kyun ek Roti khatar hath sandwawe ga, Sebere ke faltu kha liye"(Oh! Come on why to get my hands dirty for one Roti, In the morning you can eat one extra
Tau:" Ha bahi Roti to Khawega"? ( Ok then, you would take food?)
Guest: Haan Tau Roti to khani sain. (Yes Tau I would take food)
Tau: Kitni Roti kha liya kara. (How many Chapatis you can eat)
Guest: "Tau Teen". (Three)
Tau : "Tu !!! Tu teen roti khawaega, Lagda to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Three, It doesn't seems so)
The guest thought that Tau perhaps cook heavy Roti So he replied," Tau do Kha lunga"(Ok, two would do)
Tau : Tu !!! Do roti khawaega, Lagta to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Two, It doesn't seems so)
The gust again thought perhaps Tau's Roti is perhaps too heavy, so replied," Thik Tau to ek he kha lunga"(Ok, Tau I would have one).
Tau: "Rey Mirar, Kyun ek Roti khatar hath sandwawe ga, Sebere ke faltu kha liye"(Oh! Come on why to get my hands dirty for one Roti, In the morning you can eat one extra
Jokes of haryana
Akhbaar wala ek haryanavi filmon ke hero ka interview leve tha. Uste poochan lagya,"Jungle mein thaare aage sher aaje to tum ke karoge?"Hero bolya,"Arre manne ke karna se, pher to jo bhi karega woh to susra sher he karega!"______________________________________________________________
Ek mota sa seth ka chhora doosre chhore ke uppar chaddha bethya aur usney dhad dhad chhetan lag raya aur saath mein jor jor sey ron lagryatha. Rah chalde admi ne bujya,"Re seth chhetan to tu isney lagrya pher rovey kyun hai?"Seth bolya, "Main is khattar ron lagrya ke jeeb main uthunga to pher ke hovega."______________________________________________________________
Mandir mein ek aadmi, Ram ki moorti ke aage jor jor se ron laag rya tha. Saath khade Tau ne poochya, "Re bhai ke baat se, kyon itta rove se?"Voh aadmi bolya "Meri lugai ghar chhod ke bhaaj gayi."Tau bolya, "To bawli booch iske aage ke tesu bahan lag rya. Iski to khud kho gii thi, Hanuman ke pass ja, wohe toh ke laya tha!"______________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek shayri sunan lagya, "Tum uss chilmen sai jahanko, tum uss chilmen sai jhanko, tum uss chilmen sai, jahanko"Ek bola, "Aagai"Shayar faer bola, "Tum iss chilmen sai jhanko, mein iss chilmen sai jhankoon, tum uss chilmen sai jhanko mein iss chilmen sai jhankoon"Pachai bathaya aadme dukhi ho leya, ar bola ke, "La duo aag iss chilmen main, naa tum jhanko na mein jahankoo!"
Ek mota sa seth ka chhora doosre chhore ke uppar chaddha bethya aur usney dhad dhad chhetan lag raya aur saath mein jor jor sey ron lagryatha. Rah chalde admi ne bujya,"Re seth chhetan to tu isney lagrya pher rovey kyun hai?"Seth bolya, "Main is khattar ron lagrya ke jeeb main uthunga to pher ke hovega."______________________________________________________________
Mandir mein ek aadmi, Ram ki moorti ke aage jor jor se ron laag rya tha. Saath khade Tau ne poochya, "Re bhai ke baat se, kyon itta rove se?"Voh aadmi bolya "Meri lugai ghar chhod ke bhaaj gayi."Tau bolya, "To bawli booch iske aage ke tesu bahan lag rya. Iski to khud kho gii thi, Hanuman ke pass ja, wohe toh ke laya tha!"______________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek shayri sunan lagya, "Tum uss chilmen sai jahanko, tum uss chilmen sai jhanko, tum uss chilmen sai, jahanko"Ek bola, "Aagai"Shayar faer bola, "Tum iss chilmen sai jhanko, mein iss chilmen sai jhankoon, tum uss chilmen sai jhanko mein iss chilmen sai jhankoon"Pachai bathaya aadme dukhi ho leya, ar bola ke, "La duo aag iss chilmen main, naa tum jhanko na mein jahankoo!"