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???? ??? ??? ?? ??? ??? ???? ?? ?? ?? ???? ???? ??? ?? ???? - ?? ??? ???????? ???? ??? ?? ??-?? ???? ????? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???? ??? ?? ...... ?
??? ??? ????? ?? ??? ????? ???? ???? - ????? ????? ????? .... ? ??? ??? ??? ?? ??? ??? ???? ??

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?? ????? ?? ???? ???? ??? ?? ?? ??? ??? ??? ??? ?? ????? ??? ?? ??? ????? ????? ?? ??? ??? ??? ???? ??? ?? ???? - ???? ??? ?? ?
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?? ????? ?? ?? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ?? ??? ??????? ????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ?? ?????? ?? ?????? ?? ??? ?? ???? ??????? ???? ????? ?? ????? ???? ????
??? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ???? ?? ???? ??? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ??? ??? ?? ???? ??? ??? ? ??? ?????? ???? ??? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??????? ?? ???? ??? ???? ???? ?
??? ??? ???? - ??? ????, ???? ??? ??? ???? ????
????? ???? - ????, ????, ???? ?? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ?? ?? ??? ?????? ?? ??? ?? ????

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?? ????? (????? ????? ??) - ???, ???? ?? ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ?? ??? ?????? - ??????? ???? ????? ??? ??? ???? ? ???? ?? ??? ????? ?? ???? ??? - ???? ???? ?????

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?? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? - ''??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ????''????? - ''?????! ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ?''???? - ''??-?? ????? ?? ???????? ?? ?? ??? ?? ???? ????''????? - ''???? ??? ????? ???? ?? ?''???? - ''????, ?? ????? ??? ?? ?? ???? ???''

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???? ???? ????? ??

???? - ''???? ?????? ????? ???? ?? ? ??????? ??? ?? ?? ??? ???????? ??????? ????? ??? ???? ?? ?? ?? ??? ??????? ?? ??? ?????''???? - ''??? ?????? ??, ??? ??? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ???? ???? ????? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??? ???? ???? ????? ????? ???? ????''

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?? ???? ?? ?? ????? ????? ?? ???? ?? ???? ????? ?????? ????? ?? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??? ??? ???? ????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ???? ??? ?? ?? ??? ?? ??? ??? ??????? ?? ???? ???? ? ???? ???? ???? ???? ??????? ??? ??? ??? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?? ?? ???? ??? ????? ???? ''?? ?????'' ?? ??? ???? ???? ''?? ??? ???''

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?? ?????? ?? ????????? ?? ???? ????? ???? ??? ???? - ''????? ??? ??????, ??? ?? ????? ???? ?? ?? ????? ???? ?????? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??????? ?? ?? ??? ????? ??? ???? ?????? ?''?????? - ''???? ?? ????? ???''?????? - ''???? ????? ?''?????? - ''?? ??? ?? ???? !''

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???? ?? ???

??? ????, ?? ???? ?? ?? ????, ???? ???? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?? ?? ???? ??? ?? ?? ???? ???? - ''???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ??? ???'' ??????? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ???? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ???? ?? ????? ???? ???????? - ''???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?? ??????'' ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ???????, ???? ?????? ?? ????? ?? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ???? ????? ???? ???? ???? ??? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ????? ???? ????? ???? ??? ?? ???? - ''????? ? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ????? ?? ?? ?? ??? ?? ????''????? ???? - ''??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ??? ?? ?? ????''??? ?? ?? ???? ?? ???? ?? ????? ?? ??? ???? ?? - ''??? ????? ?? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???????''

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???? ?? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?????? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??????? ??? ???? ??? ?? ??? ?? ???? ????? ?? ?? ????: ???? ???? ?? ??????? ?? ???? ?? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ?? ????? ??? ??? ??? ?? ???? ?? ?????? ?? ??? ???? ?????? ?? ??? ??? ??????? ?? ?? ??? ?? ?? ?? ??????? ??? ?? ??? ???? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ??? ???? ?? ???? ???? ?? ?? ???? ?? ????? ???? ???? ????? ??? ??? ?? ?? ???? ?? ?? ???? ??? ?? ???? ???? ????? ??? ?? ??? ?? ???? ???? ?? ???? ????? ???? ''??,'' ???? ??? ?? ???, ''?? ?????? ?? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??!''''?? ?? ??? ??,'' ??? ?? ????? ?? ???? ????, ''???? ?? ???? ?? ?? ??? ???? ?? ?''

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?????? ?? ????

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?????? ?? ???????

???????? : ?? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ???????? ???? ????????? ?? ???? ???? ?????? ?????? : ???? ????? ??? ?????? ??, ????? ???? ?????? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ???? ??? ???????? : ?? ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ?? ????? ???? ???? ??? ???

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????? ?? ??????

A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State's patriotichistory during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claimingthat their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters. They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters.Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hairout of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. "Bhagat Singh" said theSardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali. "Netaji" said the Bengali and did thesame. They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedomfighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar's ignorance andreeled off a lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter's name. Hethought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali's head and pulled all his hair outshouting - "JallianWala Bagh".

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Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class -All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent. "Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??" "No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??" The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."--------------------------------------------------------------------------------One train which was going peacefully on the rail-trackssuddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearbyand then came back on the tracks.The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station thedriver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar .He was questioned . He explained that therewas a man standing on the tracks and he was not movingfrom there even after lots of honks etc .Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just tosave life of one person you put life of so many passengersunder danger.You should have overran that person .Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiotstarted running towards the field when the train came very close.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Read this biography of a sardarWhen God passed out looks,I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.When God passed out ears,I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.When God passed out legs,I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.When God passed out noses,I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.When God passed out heads,I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.When God passed out brains,I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mr. Jaswant singh went to a grocery stores collected the grocery andcame to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill forthe items. Singh asked " Where is the fat ?" The person didn'tunderstandwhat Singh was saying and said "Excuse me sir, FAT???"Sardar : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Sardar started shouting and arguingwith the person and all people gathered and Manager of that grocerystores came there and asked Sardar about the problem.Then sardar said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your stores andit was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me thefat. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Travelling together once were a Russian, an American & the saviour of ournation - Sardarji!!!Each of them wanted to prove that their country was the greatest.Said the Russian, " We have a rocket that could touch the sky." "Wedont believe it ",said the others."Ok! Ok! but just 2cms. below the sky"Not to be out done the American said, " We have a submarine that cantouch the ocean-bed of the deepest part on this planet.""We don't believe it ",said the others."Ok! Ok! but just 2cms. above the ocean-bed"Our hero with a smile on his face said, "In our country we all eatwith our nose

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?????? ?? ??? ???

There was this Bihari who was travelling with two ticketsWhen the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickets.This fellow answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them,so the T.T.E said what if you lose both of them,so this guy said then why do I have a monthly pass

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??? ?? ??? ??????

A Haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death."The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him."Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the Haryanvi."My father was 182 cms tall.

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A sophisticated city person comes to Haryana. He has this mistaken notion that rural people are simple and can be made fools of easily. He asks lift from a Sikh farmer on bullock cart, saying "O paaji, sanu Singapore jana hega, twadi belgaddi le chalugi menu otthon?"Farmer says, "Oye aaja, be jaa".Hearing this, the city person is momentarily shocked and asks "Ketthon beyaan?"The farmer replies, "Ae majh diyan donaa singhaan utte be jaa, appe hi Singapore ponch javega!!"

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Ek jat doosre jat sey,"Arre tanney bera ke Hanuman bhi jat tha?"Doosra bolya, " Tanne kyunkar bera patya?"Pehley alla bolya,"Lugai to ram ki kho gayi thi aur aag Hanuman ne apni poonch mein lagwa li! Jat ke bagair aur koi issa kam kar sakk hai?"______________________________________________________________
Ek shehri babu ek gaon ke mollad se rasta bujhan lagya.Mollad bolya, "Nu kar tu yahan te khabhe ne ho liye aur aage jakke sajje ne."Babu bolya, "Bhai sahab mein ap se aap aap karkey baat kar raha hun aur aap mujjey tu tu bool rahey ho.Mollad bollya, "Pher ke tanne bapu bolun?"___________________________________________________
Ek bhai saadi te bahut dara kare thaa. Ek bai gaam mein thanedar aaga us din us bhai ki bhans kise ki juwar kha gi. Ghana ulahana aa ya. To uske ghar wale bole, "Thanedar sahab isne dara ke ne saadi tahi tyar kara do yo saadi te bahut dare se."Thanedar ne us bhai ko dara dhamka ke bola, "Teri yehi saza hai ke tere ko saadi karni padegi."Bhai usne darte ne saadi ki haan kar li. Saadi mein jab dulhan ko uske paas laya gaya to wo bola, "E bebe teri bhans ne bhi kise ki juwar kha li thee ke?"

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Teli aur jat ki is baat pe kaha suni ho gayi ke kaun ghana syana se. Dona ke beech shayari ka muqabla ho gaya. Pehelan teli ki baari thi. Usne sunaya, "Jat re jat, tere sar pe khat."Jat ne apna dimag top gear main thok diya aur bolya, "Teli re teli, tere sir pe kohlu."Teli bolya, "Arre jat ya to koi baat nahi bani."Jat bolya, "Na banne, sasurre bojh taley to dab ke marega."______________________________________________________________
Ek pheri ek Maruti alle ne truck mein peechey se dey mari, aur truck ke nichey bud gaya? Truck driver khidki se sir kadhke bolya,"Arre bhai choongh li ho to bahar likkad le?"
Ek tau bus conductor se boojhan lagya, "Re bhai manne Rohtak jana, ya bus kitt jaegi?"O bolya, "Dilli jagi".Tau pher bolya, "Per is board pe to Rohtak likh rakhya se."Conductor bolya, "Tau nu kar, tu isse board pe baeth ke bug ja pher."

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??? ?? ????

?? ?? ????? ??? ??? ?????? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ?? ????? ???? ??? ?? ??, ???? ?? ???? ? ??, ?????? ?? ???? ?????, ?????? ???... ????? ?? ?????? ?????? ???? ?????? ?????? ???, ?? ???? ????? ?? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ????? ???? ??? ??? ??????? ?? ?? ???? ????? ?????? - ???-??? ?? ???? ??? ?? ???, ??? ???? ?????? ????? ???, ?? ?????? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ????

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Tau ne sikhi english

Once Chautala thought that he should teach english to his father . He started teaching from A for Apple B Bhains ( Buffalo) etc etc. When he came to M he said M for Mummy or 'Maa'. Proceeding further when W came Tau said ," Yaa kimi Jaani Phchani lage hai". (It seen that he has seen it some where). Then he recollected ," HAA, YAA SAI TO CHAUTALA KE MAA PER YAA ULTI KAYUN HOO RAHI SAI".( Yes, It is Chautal's mother, But why she is upside down.)

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Tau on The Bus

Once Tau boarded a buss. Bus was very much crowded. On looking around tau found dirvers seat vacant and quickly grabbed it. After some time the dirver came and asked Tau to vacate the seat. Tau as usual refused to part with the seat. The driver politely said, "Tau mene Bus chalani sai"( I have to drive the Buss). Tau replied," To phir mere sir pe baith ke chalawega, pechay baith ke nahi chalai jati" ( So you would dirve while sitting on my head, why don't you sit behind and drive). The driver said jokingly and politely, " Tau pechay baith ke chalayi to buss pchey jawagi" ( If I would drive from behind then it would go back). Tau answered " Hammn !!, tu mene bewkuf samaj rekhya sai, mene bera sai, bus main to ek ulta gear bhi hoya kere" (You think i am a fool, I know that there is a reverse gear also in the buss

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Tau or chor

Once a thief broke in to Tau's house and successfully completed his operation. In the morning when tau wake up he went to police station for lodging an FIR.
The policeman asked : "Tau ke Bkhat Tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau :" Bhai Bkaht to mada ey tha, taien to yeh rasey ho gaye" (The time was bad, that's why this trouble happened).
The policeman :" Tau Bajya ke tha"( Tau what was the time).
Tau answered:" Key batau daroga ji, ek lath to mera sir mein bajya tha or ek teri Taei ke ser mein bajya" (What should I tell inspecter ji, one stick hit on my head and one on your Taei's(Tau's wife) head).
Policeman :" Tau ye bata Ghari pey ke bajya tha"(What was the time in the clock).
Tau :" Beta, Ghari pey to ke he tikya hta aur wa tut gayi"( On stick was hit on the clock and it broke down

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Tau Sadak pe

Once a Tau was gonig on the road. A car wala blew horn from behind. Tau looked back asked the dirver," Ya sadak ke tere BAAP ki Sai ?" ( Does this road belongs to your father ?). The dirver replied in annoiance ,"HAA". Tau immediately replied ," Apne BAAP se keh de sadak thorii CHOREE karva de ga, Yoo Tau na halley".( Say your father to broaden the road as this Tau wouldn't move aside.)

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Tau ne dekhi sholey

One day Tau went to see Sholey. Veru was tied up and Gabber said,"Nach Basanti Nach". Veru screamed," Nahen Basanti..., en Kutto ke samney mat Nachna".(No Basanti don't dance in front of these dogs.) Tau who was watching the movie very curiously exclaimed ," Nachegi Kyuna, Pandra rupiye nu he thora na de rakhe Saien". (Why would not she dance, I have not given fifteen rupees in vain.)

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Tau ka Meheman

One day a guest came to Tau's house at night. Tau thought that he has to prepare food and serve to the guest, so what to do to aviod this at mid-night. He think upon a plan. He asked the guest,
Tau:" Ha bahi Roti to Khawega"? ( Ok then, you would take food?)
Guest: Haan Tau Roti to khani sain. (Yes Tau I would take food)
Tau: Kitni Roti kha liya kara. (How many Chapatis you can eat)
Guest: "Tau Teen". (Three)
Tau : "Tu !!! Tu teen roti khawaega, Lagda to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Three, It doesn't seems so)
The guest thought that Tau perhaps cook heavy Roti So he replied," Tau do Kha lunga"(Ok, two would do)
Tau : Tu !!! Do roti khawaega, Lagta to nahi. (You!!! You will eat Two, It doesn't seems so)
The gust again thought perhaps Tau's Roti is perhaps too heavy, so replied," Thik Tau to ek he kha lunga"(Ok, Tau I would have one).
Tau: "Rey Mirar, Kyun ek Roti khatar hath sandwawe ga, Sebere ke faltu kha liye"(Oh! Come on why to get my hands dirty for one Roti, In the morning you can eat one extra

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Jokes of haryana

Akhbaar wala ek haryanavi filmon ke hero ka interview leve tha. Uste poochan lagya,"Jungle mein thaare aage sher aaje to tum ke karoge?"Hero bolya,"Arre manne ke karna se, pher to jo bhi karega woh to susra sher he karega!"______________________________________________________________
Ek mota sa seth ka chhora doosre chhore ke uppar chaddha bethya aur usney dhad dhad chhetan lag raya aur saath mein jor jor sey ron lagryatha. Rah chalde admi ne bujya,"Re seth chhetan to tu isney lagrya pher rovey kyun hai?"Seth bolya, "Main is khattar ron lagrya ke jeeb main uthunga to pher ke hovega."______________________________________________________________
Mandir mein ek aadmi, Ram ki moorti ke aage jor jor se ron laag rya tha. Saath khade Tau ne poochya, "Re bhai ke baat se, kyon itta rove se?"Voh aadmi bolya "Meri lugai ghar chhod ke bhaaj gayi."Tau bolya, "To bawli booch iske aage ke tesu bahan lag rya. Iski to khud kho gii thi, Hanuman ke pass ja, wohe toh ke laya tha!"______________________________________________________________
Ek baar ek shayri sunan lagya, "Tum uss chilmen sai jahanko, tum uss chilmen sai jhanko, tum uss chilmen sai, jahanko"Ek bola, "Aagai"Shayar faer bola, "Tum iss chilmen sai jhanko, mein iss chilmen sai jhankoon, tum uss chilmen sai jhanko mein iss chilmen sai jhankoon"Pachai bathaya aadme dukhi ho leya, ar bola ke, "La duo aag iss chilmen main, naa tum jhanko na mein jahankoo!"

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