Saturday, August 23, 2014

Naughty whatsapp status

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I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s bang!

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I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t u + i = 3D 69?

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I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

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Why don?t you slip into something more comfortable?like a coma.

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A pathan want to commit suicide, When asked: Why are you crying? Pathan said: My wife ran with my Best Friend & i can�t live without my friend.

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Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

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Life's Irony Little Girls Want Barbie Dolls And Little Boys Want Big Cars. After Growing Up Big Girls Want Cars And Big Boys Want Barbie Dolls.

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Height of bravery! Going Late To Class,in TOre Jeans&messy hair. Entering The class without Permission n saying to MAM: "Hey SwEeTy!" "CARRY ON DONT STOP"...

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Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE- Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally...... Thats why boys go to college regularly....

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Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

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Skin meets Skin When is that the skin meets skin, hair meets hair n balls disappear.. dirty mind its when u BLINK UR EYES

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How wud u tell ur GF if u want to go to toilet on 1st date. Dear I've to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I'm going to introduce u later!

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A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area and asked for her profession. Prostitute: I'm a social engineer Policeman � What do you do? Prostitute- I build and destroy erections!

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Teacher: Dog? Student- Bow Bow! Teacher: Cat? Student: Meowwwwww. Teacher- Lion? Student: Aah Aah Aah Aaah. Teacher: I said LION, Not �Leone'..! =P

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Why was newton surprised to c a naked girl? bcoz something started moving upwards which was against law of gravity!

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My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

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How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I?ll put my head in.

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You?ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

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I'm not staring at your boobs,I'm staring at your heart!

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How can you tell a head nurse? She's the one with the dirty knees!

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Caterpillar last words to a guy who's about to kill him u r just jealous that i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can. :P

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GIRLS STUPIDITY:- . They wont give their phone no. even to a KNOWN PERSON. . But they give all their PRIVATE details to an UNKNOWN TAILOR..

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" Do u know that ur smile takes 1000 people to death? Save the world? so plz start teeth brushing regularly "

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A notice in a factory for girl workers. "If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

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It takes a million compliments to build you up & one insult to send it all crashing down.

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Be smart and don't let me go, A girl like me and a love like mine don't come around every day.

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LOVE is like a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.

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The key of my happiness, just forgetting my past.

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I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

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I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn?t u + i = 3D 69?

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You remind me of a Championship bass, I don?t know whether to mount you or eat you!

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Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

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How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

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Life Is The Way How You Look At It: "LIVE TOGETHER" Some Will Read As: "Live Together" Others Will Read As: "Live To Gather" AND Some Will Read It As: "Live To Get Her" :-D :-x

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Sign board at a Pakistani petrol pump "please don't smoke here! we know your life has no value But

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Petrol is very expensive"

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In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another "I slept wid ur mom last nite" D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response. He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

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What's common between the sun and women's underwear? a) Both are hot b) Both look better while going down c) Both disappear by night.

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Interviewer: Where where yo born? Sardar ji: Punjab, interviewer: which part? Sardar ji : poori body was born in Punjab...."

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AM I CUTE? TEST call, if i m cute miss call, if i m gorgeous Text back if i m pretty Text a joke if i m charming Just ignore if u r jealous

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'1 day I read smoking is bad. "I stop smoking" 1 day I read drinking is bad "I stop drinking" 1 day I read making Girl friendS is bad habit " I stop reading" lOlzz'

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You must work at Subway, cause you just gave me a foot long.

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Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

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I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

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Is that a keg in your pants? ?Cause I would love to tap that ass!

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A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What?s the moral of the story??? A wet pussy always makes a happy cock.

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That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I?d becoming too!

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Once you begin being naughty, it is easier to go and on and on, and sooner or later something dreadful happens.

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If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

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I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.

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A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.

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I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I?m allergic to sex.

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Nice legs?what time do they open?

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

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Love is blind, and greed insatiable..

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I’m easy. Are you?

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If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

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If it?s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

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Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

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What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can?t hold it in.

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I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.

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I may not be Mr. Right, but I?ll screw you till he shows up.

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Poke me now if you?ve ever had a crush on me..

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We know that romance brings out the beast in you.

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Some people say the glass is half empty. Others say it?s half full. I?m just happy to have a glass!

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When I die my gravestone is going to have a ?Like? button.

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If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

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I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

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If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

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How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

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